Bring the Rain...

I am hearing voices in my head. I'm not going crazy, but for the past few weeks I have been experiencing excessive "inner-dialogue." My subconscious keeps asking "WHY?" The conscious answer I respond with is, "It does not matter WHY."

After spending the past weekend at the hospital with Sara and looking at the possibility of her spending the next few months there, I began to feel sorry for Sara and even for myself. What did Sara do to deserve to be "locked up" inside the walls of Wilford Hall? Why am I going to have to spend the next 3 months separated from my wife? What did I do to deserve to drive an extra 90 minutes a day to and from the hospital? Then, I started to think about Job (from the Bible). Following is a passage from Job about his background and some trials he faced...

In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. He had seven sons and three daughters, and he owned seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen and five hundred donkeys, and had a large number of servants. He was the greatest man among all the people of the East.

His sons used to take turns holding feasts in their homes, and they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would send and have them purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, "Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts." This was Job's regular custom.

One day the angels came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them. The Lord said to Satan, "Where have you come from?"

Satan answered the Lord, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it."

Then the Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."

"Does Job fear God for nothing?" Satan replied. "Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face."

The Lord said to Satan, "Very well, then, everything he has in is your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger."

Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord.

Once day when Job's sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, a messenger came to Job and said, "The oxen were plowing and the donkeys were grazing nearby, and the Sabeans attacked and carried them off. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"

While he was still speaking, another messenger came and said, "The fire of God fell from the sky and burned up the sheep and the servants, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"

While he was still speaking, another messenger came and said, "The Chaldeans formed three raiding parties and swept down on your camels and carried them off. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"

While he was still speaking, yet another messenger came and said, "Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"

At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."

In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.
--Job 1:1-22

Job did NOTHING to deserve to lose EVERYTHING. Yet, even though he lost it all, Job still continued to PRAISE GOD! It does not matter "WHY?"

This story helps to put things into perspective for me. Yes, it stinks that Sara was diagnosed with cancer. Yes, it stinks that we had to leave our life in Japan 18 months before our planned time. Yes, it stinks that Sara is on bed rest for 3 months. But in comparison with "what could have been," we're doing just fine! It's neat to look back at the past 6 months and see how faithful God has been. It's comforting to know that God has a plan for us and has our best interest at heart. Sometimes it is hard to see HOW this is our best interest, but we continue to trust.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
--Romans 8:28

One of Sara's friends recently wrote and referenced the song called "Bring the Rain" by Mercy Me. After listening to the words, I feel like this is our theme song since February 23 (date of Sara's mammogram).

If you want to hear the song, you can go to this link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m17af0XmPFo

Bring the Rain
by Mercy Me

I can count a million times
People asking me how I can praise you
With all that I've gone through.
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You.

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind.
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead, I draw closer through these times.

So I pray...

Bring my joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory.
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain.
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, BRING THE RAIN.

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain.
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me, what's a little rain?

So I pray...

It is easy to get so focused on our little world and forget about the millions of other people who are suffering and going through tougher times that we are. Job went through some tough times and difficult trials in his life, yet he chose to praise the name of the Lord...despite his circumstances. I believe that God felt that Sara was up to the challenge and knew that we would not curse his name and choose to praise the name of the Lord...despite the circumstances.

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. --James 1:12

Sara and Chloe are both doing well. Sara had a check up at the hospital this morning and they put Chloe on the monitor for 30 minutes to check her heartbeat. She is still under no stress and is doing well. We will meet with the OB again on Tuesday and hopefully do another growth scan. Today, Sara is 28 weeks pregnant and we are praying that she won't have to deliver before 36 weeks. Please join us in that prayer.

Thank you for continuing to check up on us.