Thursday, October 22, 2009

A Significant Day...


Today, October 22, is a significant day in the Sullivan Household. Today is Chloe's original due date. Today also marks the 1-month anniversary of Sara's death. LIFE and DEATH, JOY and SADNESS, smashed together on one day.

It is strange how the timing of the past month feels completely different when compared to these significant events. I cannot believe that Chloe is already 7 weeks old. That time seems like it has flown by. I cannot believe that it has only been one month since Sara died. That time seems like it has drug on incredibly slowly.

After Sara's funeral, a friend (who has walked the journey of losing a spouse) gave me a book of devotions called Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. I am amazed at how each night, the entries are speaking directly to my heart. I am sure most of you have been to a church service where you feel like the pastor is speaking directly to you. Well, each night, I feel as if the devotions in this book were written for me at this particular time in my life. The overriding theme in my life right now seems to be peace. Last night, this is what I read.

The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. --Phillipians 4:7

There is a part of the sea knows as "the cushion of the sea." It lies beneath the surface that is agitated by storms and churned by the wind. It is so deep that it is a part of the sea that is never stirred. When the ocean floor in these deep places is dredged of the remains of plant or animal life, it reveals evidence of having remained completely undisturbed for hundreds, if not thousands, of years.

The peace of God is an eternal calm like the cushion of the sea. It lies so deeply within the human heart that no external difficulty or disturbance can reach it. And anyone who enters the presence of God becomes a partaker of that undisturbed and undisturbable calm. --Arthur Tappan Pierson

When Sara had her seizure, I was in the process of organizing our office. Now that things are staring to slow down, I have spent numerous hours in the office, going through our belongings. Last night, I found Sara's prayer journal from her time at Wilford Hall. Sara's final journal entry was on September 7, the day before Chloe was born. I took a break from organizing and began to read back through her prayers. I am encouraged by the peace that she had, knowing full well that God was in control. I am also excited for Chloe to get to read her mother's prayers for her, desiring her to live her life as a "Godly Woman." Here is Sara's final prayer in her journal...

September 7, 2009

May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. --Psalm 119:76

My Jesus-

Thank you for your unfailing love, and that it is and has been my comfort. I can rest in you alone because I know you will never forsake me. You are in complete control of everything and there is so much peace in that. May the peace I have and feel be evident to those around me - may they continue to ask how - and may I share without hesitation that it is you! I love you, Lord and ask that I will be a blessing to you today. Be glorified in and through me. I ask this in Jesus' name.

- Amen

It is strange to read back through her journal and see how excited she was "to see Jesus face to face." I do not think that she knew she was going to die so soon because lots of her prayers were requesting wisdom for us as we "brought Chloe up in the ways of the Lord." However, she was not one bit afraid of death. Every time Sara would pray before our meal, she would start out, "Lord, thank you for another day that is not promised to us..." Reading back through her prayers, she was truly thankful for each day and wanted to live each one to bring GLORY TO GOD. This reaffirms that the "Soli Deo Gloria" saying is perfect for her bracelets.

Back to the theme of peace in my life, I will share with you my journal entry from September 30, Sara's birthday.

"When God places a burden upon you, He places His arms underneath you." --L.B. Cowman

Lord,

As Chloe and I begin our new journey of life together, we are thankful for your provision. Lord, thank you for your word and your calming, peaceful holy spirit. Though I feel as if I should be a complete "mess," there is peace in your plan for my life. Though the thought of raising Chloe as a single dad is frightening, You are with us.

Lord, as I lay in bed alone, I am so thankful for the life you allowed Sara and I to live. Thank you for our time in Korea and Japan. Thank you for all the time I was able to spend with her this year. Thank you that the final words we spoke to each other were, "I Love You" (18 Sept 2009). Lord, I ask for continued strength and faith. Thank you for growing my faith through all these trials.

Lord, I ask for wisdom in raising Chloe and what to do with the blessings you provide. I pray for protection and health for Chloe Grace for her life.

Lord, I love and trust you completely.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen


Today, on her original due date, Chloe is weighing in at 7.2 lbs. She is getting some chubby cheeks and a double (and sometimes triple) chin. She is not sleeping as much as she had been in her preemie weeks, but we are still doing well. Please pray for parenting wisdom for her dad. Thanks.

79 comments:

SouthernGalsBoutique said...

That journal is going to be the perfect keepsake for Chloe as she gets older. She is a gorgeous little girl!

tracy said...

This is a beautiful post Brady. God was definitely answering Sara's prayer for people to see and feel God's peace within her. Not only did I sense God's peace in her, but the incredible joy that shined through her. I have never been around someone where I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit shining through them so brightly. I am so very glad that I had the honor of knowing her, even for such a short amount of time.

What an incredible Blessing it will be for Chloe to have Sara's prayer journals. I have my Moms and they are so incredibly special to me.

You are doing a wonderful job. Chloe is thriving and is a very happy and content baby. I continue to hold you and your family tightly in my prayers. We love you guys!

Ruby Red Slippers said...

My husband and I were given Streams in the Desert this summer. It is a wonderful devotional.
God will guide you as you parent that sweet baby-Your heart is willing, and your spirit is in tune with His...
God Bless!

Kelli said...

What beautiful words!! Thank you for giving us a glimpse of how much Sara loved God and desired for Chloe to grow to know His love too!!! Praying for you as you face this life without Sara and the job of raising sweet Chloe Grace without her!!

Crimson Petals said...

I've been following your blog since learning of what your family had been through via Kelly's Korner. It was heartbreaking to read about, but at the same time, in the midst of the storm, you have demonstrated that peace you spoke of in this post with such grace.

When you write about the presence of the Lord and His hands [I love that quote by L.B. Cowman!] in the lives of you, Sara, and Chloe, in the whole of the situation and not just in the past month, it is clear, that He IS with you and very much a part of not only the trials you have faced, but the dailyness of your lives. I am glad you had the receptiveness to open your heart to the Lord before you had to face all that you have been through.

I am really glad that Sara was given the gift of time with you & Chloe too, and I pray that the peace you have experienced continues to surround you & provide a buffer particularly in the hard moments. May you continue to feel the Lord's ongoing presence & peace, and may He bless you abundantly even in this difficult time, and may you continue to be embraced by the legacy of the gift of Sara's love in your lives in unexpected ways.

God's blessings to you & Chloe!

Karen said...

You truly are inspiring as you face this time in your life. Sara seems amazing...the kind of person everyone would be blessed to know. Chloe is a fortunate little girl to have such amazing parents. I think that Sara's prayer journal will be such a treasure for her one day. Continuing to pray (and cry) in Tyler, TX.

Stephanie said...

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and sweet baby Chloe. I live in Dallas, TX and was so happy to see you on the news representing your wonderful wife!

Chloe has a great Dad and will be so blessed to be able to hear her mother's prayers!

Dawn said...

What a wonderfully comforting post, Brady. Peace is an amazing and wonderful thing to hold tight to.

Sara's prayer journal will be something Chloe will cherish for years to come. Thanks again for sharing a bit of Sara and a bit of you.

You're a wonderful Daddy, don't forget it! and your words are encouraging to more than you know, thank you!

Channe said...

Thank you for sharing Sara's journal entry - it encouraged me greatly to be a better witness to those around me. I just said a prayer that God would give you His fatherly wisdom as you raise your beautiful Chloe.

Melissa's Thoughts said...

A friend gave me Streams in the Dessert when I went through my divorce. It was a comfort in a hard time for me. I know you will find God on those pages. Having never met Sara, I find myself really getting to know her through you and wanted to step up to the calling on my life and being a better person. God is good.

shondashoo said...

Awww Chloe is turning into a lil lady already! You are doing an amazing job with her!! Good job daddy :)

Always,
Shonda

Kate said...

beautiful.

*Valerie* said...

Brady,
I came across yalls blog the other night through another one I follow. What a beautiful little girl yall have created! I read yalls story and I cried. I am a huge supporter for breast cancer awareness and tears flowed down my eyes! What courage Sara had! She will be such an inspiration to me as I crew for my 2nd Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in Houston next year! What a huge impact she has already left on my heart! Thank you for sharing your blog and posts! It is so refreshing to know that God is with us always! That through our toughest times in life He is not only with us but He carries us through! What a wonderful Lord we have! Brady, though I don't know you, my prayer for you and Chloe is that yall find peace in your suffering and strength in each other! I pray that the Lord gives you the words you need when she grows up and asks about Sara. Through your posts I know she was a wonderful woman and Chloe, with your help will grow up to be just like her! May the Lord be with you and your family each and every day and may you find strength in the toughest times, peace to sleep soundly at night, wisdom to raise Chloe to be a Godly woman and a love that only a daddy and his little girl can share! God Bless you!
Valerie

The Tietz Family! said...

Sometimes I get so lost for words I'm not sure what to type. Your love towards Sara and hers towards you has helped me in my own marriage. We have been facing some difficult times lately and when all this came about it made me STOP and looking at what was right in front of me...THE LORD!

Sara got across exactly what she wanted us to know...she was at peace with her maker at such a young age when most seek after him their entire lives to feel this way. I love the Lord deeply and feel this peace often. To give Sara's circumstance she was in such high spirits. I admire her for never giving up and knowing God had his plan for her.

You will be and ARE an amazing father. Never doubt yourself bc God left you to tend to Chloe alone for a reason. He has great faith in you!

You will forever "and chloe" stay in me and my families prayers!

Shara

mommynoodles said...

Brady,
Your posts never fail to inspire me in some way!! You are and going to be a wonderful daddy,by "GOD'S" amazing grace!! Chloe,is so adorable,even if she does have 2 or 3 chins! lol I always say,that means their healthy and not missing a meal! lol I'm thankful that you feel peace and comfort beyond all understanding!! You know that can only come from "GOD"!!

Natalie,

Kelly said...

Thank you for sharing such personal thoughts and moments. Remember that when it comes to parenting, we're all flying by the seat of our pants, ESPECIALLY in the beginning. You'll figure out your own way of doing things, as you probably already have. God bless you and that little child.

gems4me said...

I was directed to your blog at the birth of Chole and I have continued on with your updates. I cannot imagine the sorrow and joy you must feel on days like this.

I just want you to know that the strength and faith you show during this time is a strong witness. I am sure it is a witness you would rather not have to endure, but you are doing it amazinly.

Your daughter is beautiful.

Amber said...

You and Chloe are never far from my thoughts. I check on you both daily. Praying for you.

Amanda said...

Your prayer from your prayer journal made me tear up this morning! You are doing such a great job with Chloe. What a beauty!! Your are always in my thoughts and prayers!

kpadilla said...

Thinking of you and Chloe a lot today. You are doing a wonderful job raising that beautiful girl.

Jusika said...

You are doing and will do great!

C. said...

Brady, your transparency in your posts are such a gift. Thank you for sharing your inner most thoughts, concerns and joys with your brothers and sisters in Christ. I don't know if you are able to read all the responses from the lives touched and changed by your journey, but I hope you continue to feel that you are covered in prayers and we continue to walk with you.

FSD said...

A significant day indeed. I pray continued blessings over Chloe and you. Thank you for sharing your and Sara's journal entries. I admire both of your walks with the Lord. You are both so authentic in your trust in Him no matter what. That's a blessing. Everytime I read your references to "Chloe and I" my heart breaks. I just wish Sara was still with you as you raise sweet Chloe. You're doing a great job; Chloe is a blessed little girl.

On the sleeping thing...expect sleep disturbances around growth spurts. Chloe's approaching one (or she may already be in it). It levels out after about a week.

Stephanie said...

Hi Brady! I am but a stranger to you and stumbled on your blog through a blog of a friend, of a friend, of a friend, and so it goes. I just wanted to send a note to say how inspirational your blog has been. Sara seems like an amazing person and I'm sure Chloe will be as well. Thank you for sharing your story with the bloggin world. I look forward to continue reading about your journey!

Maddison said...

That outfit is too cute and these prayers that yall wrote are blessing. Its amazing what God does. I am praying for you Brady and Chloe. I pray that Chloe will one day be just like her mom and let God be glorified through her.

Tiffany said...

First of all, Chloe is just gorgeous! You are doing an amazing job raising her and loving her and honoring her mother in the process. Your love for Sara and our Savior is so apparent and that is what Chloe will know. Praise the Lord!

My mother was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in 2005 and it forever changed our family. I praise the Lord because she fought an ugly, tough battle, but today she in cancer free. But we continue to raise awareness and raise funds so that one day breast cancer will be a thing of the past and no other women and men have to fight the fight. My mother, sister and I will be walking in the Komen 3-Day November 6th-8th in Dallas and we will certainly be walking in Sara's honor. We are continually praying for you and sweet Chloe.

Kellie said...

Beautiful post. It looks as if Chloe is doing wonderful. A healthy baby girl. I am saying prayers for you daily. I have been in the single mother catagory but i am sure the single dad catagory is just as trying. Keep your head up and your eyes focused. It will go by quicker than you think.

melissa said...

Hi, my name is Melissa..Im a member at Mt Lebanon Baptist Church, and we have been praying for you and your sweet Chloe since learning about Saras passing...You have a beautiful family, and when I say have, I mean to include Sara, because she will always be your family, that will never change..We were pregnant w/our 4th child recently and lost the pregnancy soon after..I was so distraught, I knew it was a boy..I would have had 2 boys and 2 girls..Sometimes Gods timing gets us, but its when , later on, we realize his timing is WAY better than ours will ever be...I'll keep praying for you and your ENTIRE family, because if we're on this earth, if only for one reason, its to be a family..I cant wait to meet Sara for the first time in Heaven..I just know I'll love her...God Bless you and sweet little Chloe.."For I know the plans I have for you, not to harm you, but to give you a hope AND a future"........

Victoria said...

Still praying for you in Pennsylvania! I had an exam done today, and while I was having it done I shared the story of your wife with my Doctor. She was truly touched by the strength and trust your wife had.
Bless you and sweet Chloe.

John & Michelle said...

Still lifting you both in Cookeville, TN
(((HUGS))), Michelle

Becky said...

What an amazing man that you are! This is my 1st comment on your blog but by far my 1st time to be here. You provide me with a daily reminder that the world still has some wonderful people in it. I can not wait to meet Sara in Heaven one day. I hope that I get to see when you and Chloe reunite with her. I think that I will be just as excited as if it were my own family. You have blessed my heart so much. Thank you for continuing to share your inner most thoughts and feelings with so many of us strangers. Chloe is truly so blessed to have such wonderful parents. If God will bring you to it, he will bring you through it.
Prayers and well wishes from Arkansas.
Becky

BETH said...

Let me just start by saying this was a story of the heart, live, life, and the lord! I was led to your blog by my sister in laws facebook. I am not sure what made me click that link but I did. I had never heard Sara's story but when I clicked it I was drawn to it like moth to a flame. I just recently started my journey to have the lord in my life and what you and Sara shared left my heart so touched! I am sad for your loss but happy to know that sara is at peace. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Chloe and may the lord light always shine down on you both.

whippetmom said...

Beautiful words! :) Chloe looks just perfect in her pink, supporting breast cancer research! Still praying for your sweet family!

Leila's Mom said...

Hi Brady... I know you don't know me but I came across your blog today! After putting my daughter down for a nap I sat on the couch and read every blog you posted. I started crying but I didn't want to get up so I grabbed the closest thing to me( my daughters bib ) and continued to read!.... Brady I want to say your example of being a disciple of God and his word is amazing as well as Sara's! Cloe is Beyond Beautiful!!! Sara left you the best gift ever and that is Cloe and the love that yall will share together on your journey together! Also I just want to let you know that I live in Cibolo and I'm a stay at home mom to a 7month old little girl. If you EVER NEED anything I will be more than willing to help you! Thank you for sharing your story and I look forward to reading your updates and future post's. God bless you and Cloe.


kiersarobuck@yahoo.com

Diana said...

Your faith is such an inspiration and everytime I read it I realize that I can't even take a single moment for granted and that I so wish I can become more like Sara. To love like she did and to to praise HIM every single second that I take a breath. I pray for God to give you wisdom as you raise Chloe. I know that you will be a great dad that you already are one. Your faith and the words you write show that. Chloe is in the best hands possible and Sara is looking down and so proud that You are with her. I know Sara is smiling because she always was. Chloe has shown such great strength just like her mom. She is growing and looking more like Sara and I'm sure you see that too.

You and Chloe are in my thoughts and prayers everyday. I share Sara's story constantly and its a reminder of the love Jesus has for His people. I can't wait till I see her again. It's going to be one huge "DANCE" party!!!!

God Bless you and Chloe.

Diana

Carol said...

I met you the other day at the walk in Dallas. I was with my daughter and daughter-in-law. You took the time to come meet us and give us a hug. I remember thinking how warm you were. Strange isn't it? But you became real instead of a story on a blog which I think made it harder for all 3 of us. I couldn't speak, daughter-in-law crying.....Your life now, not story, will continue to be with us...especially in our prayers. Thanks so much for bringing us into your life!!

Michelle said...

I LOVE reading your blog! You have no idea what a blessing YOU are in our, the readers, lives! Reading how it seems like a child growing up goes by so fast and the time since a loved one has passed seems so long hit SO true to my heart! I know you will but cherish every minute with Chloe because they do grow up fast. I'm so glad to hear you and Chloe are doing well and like always thank you so much for keeping us updated!

Kel said...

The prayer journal ..what a blessing.. Chloe will truly see in her mother's heart through it! Thank you once again for sharing such a deep and personal moment of your times with Sara. I can not begin to tell you how reading this blog has totally changed my life and outlook on life! I am going through some stuff I thought was hard but wow.. the strength and faith you and Sara showed through the whole treatment time and since her passing.. just makes me go whoa.. life is so precious and I want people to remember me the way I see them remembering her. Gosh to have people say they can see Christ love beaming in my smile.. wow.. that is a true testament of faith.. thanks and love hugs and prayers from Houston Area... Kel

Terry said...

My name is Terry Godwin and I am Brian Jeffries mom. I have been following your blog ever since Sara had her seizure and Debbie Yancey sent it to me. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your's and Sara's story with all of us. You are truly inspirational and today's post about peace spoke so loudly to me. A few years back I went on a retreat called "Walk to Emmaus". It was a life changing event for me and I know what you mean when you speak of the peace that only the Lord can bring. I experienced such grace and peace at Emmaus and it has comforted me tremendously thru all of life's trials. You all are true examples of "the hands and feet of Jesus Christ" and "if you are going to talk the talk, then walk the walk". Chloe will have such a full life with you as her dad and will always feel the presence of Sara. I will continue to keep you & Chloe in my prayers and may we continue to receive and recongnize all of Gods blessings. Thank you for continuing to remind me that the Lord is in control and all of the glory goes to him.

Shana said...

You don't know who I am. I started reading your blog the day before Sara died. I prayed with you for her healing, and I have cried tears with you since her passing. I'm not sure why I am writing this now, other than to let you know that her legacy lives on. I read through Sara's old blog entries and was so stirred and encouraged by her faith and commitment to the Lord. And I have continued to be encouraged by your strength and faith. Your precious daughter is so blessed to live the spiritual legacy of her mother and father.

You are doing a great job as a single-dad, and your daughter will be blessed because of you. Keep filling up in the Supernatural, and the natural parenting stuff will come easy.

Be blessed.
Shana

Peggy said...

Hi, I wanted to say that I'm so glad that you have continued to blog since Sara died. I started reading a couple of days before Sara's death when a friend posted your link on facebook.

I am 31, and by the age of 30, both of my parents had died and all of my grandparents. I have no siblings and am not married, so it's just me. It's been hard to know how to deal with the multiple losses and loneliness, but I really enjoy reading about your joy and peace.

Debbie said...

My sister was also given Streams in the Desert after she lost her 3 year old son, Christian, last year. She shared many passages with me and my family (and on her blog: othersuchhappenings.com)that really touched our hearts and brought such comfort. Like you and Sara, she has brought me and others such encouragement in what was/is the lowest of valleys for her. It is humbling and really lovely the way you are bringing glory to God in everything. You, Sara and Chloe are all such incredible blessings! You continue to be in my prayers.

Michelle Myers said...

As I was reading this entry and getting close to chole's picture, my daguther (who is three) walked over to me and said, "Momma, what are you doing?" I told her I was reading about this sweet little baby and showed her the picture. Children at this age tend to speak exactly what's on their minds so.. my daughter got really close to the screen and said, "Ahhhh, look mom it's a little angel baby" and then kissed the screen. So very true. So proud of you Brady!!

Michelle M.

Chad, Kim and Shelby said...

Happy due date Chole! Brady I amazed everyday by your strength and know Sara would be impressed as well. Chloe is growing into a beautiful little lady.

Deborah said...

What a doll she is! Parenting comes naturally. You are doing an awesome job!

Melissa-Mom to 3 bugs said...

Happy Predicted Birthday, Chloe! We're all so glad you came early. And, up to 7.2 lbs already. Are you trying to fulfill Daddy's prediction of 45lbs by the time you're 6 months old?! You look just precious in your pink outfit. You already know that girls in Texas have big hair and if they can't have big hair, just have a BIG BOW!
Sending thoughts and prayers your way,
TeamReich

calahc said...

Thank you for this. You and Chloe are always in my prayers and thoughts. -calah

The Rurkas said...

Brady, this entry is beautiful. We continue to pray for you and Chloe. I still can't wait to give her a huge hug when I meet her someday ... until then know that you are constantly in our prayers.

Colleen said...

Brady,

We continue to pray for you and Chloe, and for the Friedman family, every single day. You all cross my mind many, many times a day. Chloe is absolutely adorable. She could not have a better Daddy. I am also so heartened to know the faith and peace that Sara was feeling in her final weeks. There is great comfort in that.

With much love from WPAFB,
Colleen & Kyle "Smiley"

KK said...

I'll be praying for you too.

Team Buckwalter said...

What a day...Sara always had peace in her Jesus! As always you guys are in our thoughts and prayers...love you guys!

King Family said...

God Bless you Brady. We are praying for yall! Way to go putting that bow on her head! It looks like pink is going to be a great color on her!

Wolfgirl60203 said...

Brady,

I know that I haven't been commenting on your blog, but I read it every day. Every single entry you write is so beautiful, and I honestly feel like I can hear God talking to me while I read it. Each time I think of Sara, and of you, it makes me want to live my life more like she did. I can't believe it's been a month since Sara went home. It feels like forever, but it also feels like we were all just hanging out at bible study as if it were yesterday. Weird, isn't it.

Alex and I miss you. We knew you guys were special when we first met you at Osan, but through all this it's become so much more evident. We are both striving to life a life closer to the Lord. We strive for our marriage to be as strong as you guys' very clearly was. What an example! Honestly, we feel blessed to know you.

Chloe looks more beautiful in each picture you post. I can't wait to see her again. What a fantastic woman she is going to grow up to be, I already know it! I've been thinking about that blog post that Sara put up a while ago, "A Father's Love," and how she was SO excited for Chloe to have you as her Daddy. She was on to something; I know you are and will do a great job raising her. (And if you EVER have any questions, let us know, we are wingin' it with Jacob too but since we're 7 months ahead of you we might just have some advice!) :)

Can't wait to see you again soon. Praying for you guys!

Love,
Cuda and Krystal

Amber Marshall said...

Brady,

We are friends of Patti Parks in Ormond Beach, FL. Your precious family has been an encouragement and testimony of God's goodness and provision in the midst of great storms. Our family at Riverbend Community Church, friends, and family have been fervently praying for your strength and peace. God has truly been glorified in Sara's life, and you have pointed to the greatness of God. She has left a beautiful legacy for her little girl. Her life encourages us to look heavenward, and expectantly to the day we see Jesus face to face.

In Christ,
Danny and Amber Marshall

Ashley Andreano Photography said...

This beautiful and transparent look into the hearts of The Sullivans is such a blessing to readers all over the world! Because you have shared this blog so graciously, it has opened MY heart more fully to Jesus. What a lesson in trusting Jesus I have learned from you and Sara. Thank you for being so giving.

To God Be All The Glory!

The Lugo's said...

Beautiful post!! The love that you have for God, Sara and Chloe is a true inspiration. Sara's story has made me a more spiritual person, thank you for that.

You, Chloe and your family's are always in my prayers.

God bless!
Krystina

Carly Nicole Elliotte My Micro Preemie said...

I don't know you or your family. I was directed here from a friend. I have never lost a spouse and pray that I never go through that. I have however lost the only 2 children that I was blessed with. Our 1st daughter passed away when she was 4 months old from a heart defect. She never came home with us. She spent ever day of her 4 months of life in the neonatal ICU. We were crushed. We tried again and were blessed with another pregnancy a month later. Sadly we lost our 2nd daughter at 32 weeks. She was stillborn.

Reading your story reminds me of me. The reason is strictly because of God and his neverending love. I have found God to be my rock, my strength, my comforter. He has gave me overwhelming peace and understanding. He has built my faith up daily in Him. As I walk in the dark I know that I can trust God to lead my life in the right direction no matter what twist and turns lie ahead.

I pray for continued peace and comfort in your life. I pray that God gives you the wisdom to rasie you daughter in the way He see's fit. I pray for your courage and understanding. I pray that Chole is blessed with the peace and comfort as she gets older. May God keep you and your family close by His side and comfort you all the days of your lives.
In Jesus Name, Amen

http://hannahkathleanelliotte.blogspot.com

wiff said...

hi brady.

i know you don't know me, but your blog was shared with me via facebook with a request for prayers for your family.

i've continually come back to it and read your story from the beginning. and i haven't been able to get your family far out of my mind ever since. i felt an immediate connection, not only because we are a military family as well, but because sara and i are so close in age.

the loss of sara must be incredibly devestating, yet your sense of peace in god is so amazing and inspiring.

i just wanted you to know that you, sara, and your beautiful girl chloe are in my prayers frequently.


--g

megan said...

aloha brady,

your blog is amazing. thank you for being so open and honest. i want you to know that yet another friend has been touched by your blog, and sara's life and your story. a mutual friend here in hawaii passed it along to her. many times in the past month - your blog comes up in conversation. the story is being told- and each time the Lord is mentioned and the Glory of His peace is shared.
you and chloe are always in our prayers. with the parenting... surround yourself with families with kids who are the same age or a bit older and just ask questions and listen and learn. its all about having lots of ideas in your hat which you can pull out and keep trying until you find what works. im sure if you have a question about something- so many peeps read this now- ask and they will answer :)
hugs, prayers and aloha,
megan

The Alrikabi's said...

Thank you for sharing your life with us. I have read your story from the beginning and am grateful for the life that you and Sara have led. I am encouraged to encounter Christ more and live a bold faith. Thank you.

I pray you continue to experience God's peace that surpasses all understanding...even when you are angry with God (which is ok...he can handle it). I

I am also amazed that you continued to blog through the most traumatic of days. I hope someone has collected your blogs in a book, so that Chloe can one day look back and read. Amazing!

Berrymans said...

Precious Chloe, Happy Due Date! It is amazing to think of all you have seen and done already, when you were only supposed to have been born this week. May you continue to thrive. You and your mommy and daddy are forever in my heart.

Jennjilla said...

What a gorgeous girl - so pretty in pink! You're doing a great job (her bow matches her skirt, impressive! and I pray for yall every day!

Laurie said...

My husband and I were informed of your story because of your incredible faith & the common ‘bad’ epidural experience I share with Sara. I too had 2 bad attempts with the 3rd finally working. The bad attempts punctured my dura causing me to lose spinal fluid at a dangerous rate. I too had instant neck pain, terrible muscle spasms, & headaches. After 6 days, I received a blood patch to close the holes in my spinal cord. The blood patch may have kept me alive, but it did not stop my symptoms. Over the last 7 years my pain & spasms have only increased & I now have a diagnosis of an incurable neurological disorder called Cervical Dystonia/Spasmodic Torticollis. Life is extremely painful & difficult, but Sara reminded me that I must be grateful for each day & opportunity I have to reflect Christ. Thank you for being vulnerable & sharing your trial. I’m going to go love on my white knight of a husband & my two beautiful daughters now. God bless you!

Paige said...

Still praying for you and your sweet family!

We, the Wells said...

thank you two for your wonderful examples. i am moved to tears by your entries. your blog is wonderful and we will continue to have you and chloe in our thoughts and prayers. btw, she is so pretty. a little doll.

Amy said...

I have been reading your blog for weeks now, but this is the first time I've ever left a comment. Like so many others, I don't know you or your wife - I was pointed to your blog due to a prayer request.

First - I am truly sorry for yours, Chloe’s, and this world's loss in Sara. She is the kind of positive, powerful, and Godly force that effects so much more than I'm sure even she was ever aware of.

Second - thank you for sharing your very personal trials, prayers and faith. Reading this blog, my own life and approach has changed, as has my desire to know my Lord. I am so awe inspired by your strength and humility. I can only imagine that it must be through your faith that you can remain so strong. I want that, and I want my children to have it. I've always considered myself a believer - and never realized how much faith I actually lacked, until I read your blog. It’s kind of the equivalent of seeing by candlelight and thinking it’s enough, until one day you open the curtains and realize the brightness of the sun. I was seeing by candlelight - and you through your family's faith, you have shown me the possibilities of so much more.. so thank you. God Bless you and Chloe.

Bekah said...

I've been reading your blog for a few weeks now and want you to know how much the peace of God shines through your words! I love the book Streams in the Desert. I read it a few years ago and found it to be just as you said...the perfect thing at the perfect time...every time. I'm so glad you're journaling and that Sara did too - what a legacy you have created (and are still creating) for Chloe!

Katrina said...

wow my sister in law turned me on to your blog only recently so I am playing catch up through your life.. What a beautiful post I just wanted to let you know that you and your sweet daughter are in my prayers. Chloe is very lucky to be able to read her mothers prayer journal and be able to read her mother's thoughts first hand. I just wanted to send you a comment that we are praying for you and your daughter. May you always feel the strength of God especially on the trying days..

Khara827rn said...

I have been meaning to write you for a while now and tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I was forwarded your blog by a close friend of mine and had been following it since right after your wife died. You have a beautiful family and a very precious baby girl. I too have suffered from a recent loss. The loss of a child. Our sweet baby was diagnosed with Trisomy 13 and Holoprosencephaly in utero at around 20 weeks. We were given grave prognosis and began preparing ourselves for what lay ahead. On Oct. 9 Ava Lynn O'Neil was born and slept peacefully in our arms for a whole hour and 41 minutes and then drifted off to be with her Heavenly Father. It has been 2 weeks since her death and as you said in your most recent post, it seems hard to believe it has only been such a short time as it has drug on for what seems like forever. I miss her dearly and my heart aches to hold her every second of the day. But I find joy in knowing she is safe and being held by the hands of God Himself until I can hold her again someday. I hope that I can get to a place that you seem to be right now where I find peace. Right now I am just overcome with hurt. But I am praying for it and will continue to do so. I want you to know what an inspiration you are to so many people. Your words are true and speak directly from your heart. I am sure you have touched the lives of so many people and you will forever be blessed for that. I will be praying for you and your family and that God continues to help you navigate through parenthood and that He continues to warm your heart with peace.


Khara O'Neil

La Famiglia Repucci said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Brady. I've been exposed to God's Peace lately through some reading from my latest Beth Moore book. I'm feeling ya, about God speaking to you lately through some reading material. I hope you are well. I heard the Chloe Bear CD at Anna & David's on Saturday. I'm in Tucson right now visiting Gabe on his TDY but you and Chloe are in our constant thoughts and prayers! Love You

Lynne said...

I just want to thank you for encouraging us blog readers through your writing. Your faith truly is amazing and uplifting, and brightens my day like you wouldn't believe.

Okay, and the pictures of your beautiful baby aren't too shabby. Seriously, could God have made her any cuter?!

Brandi said...

You are an amazing man and a true warrior for God. Chloe is a very lucky little girl.

Beth said...

Thank you so much for your blog. I read the post about the refiner's fire. You are so right when you said that the reason why we go through trials is so that others can see Christ in us. Your faith is amazing, thank you for your encouraging words to a stranger walking a similar path. I'll be praying for you and your family.

Randi said...

She's gorgeous and you're doing an absolutely amazing job, dad! Sara must be smiling bright as the sunshine! I've never been a religious person, but reading about your and Sara's faith and words are really making an impact on my life. Sincerely, RMichelle

Erica said...

I just found your blog through a friend and I'm humbled and blessed to read of your journey and your incredible faith in our precious Savior. Praying for you, sweet Chloe, and your family.

lindsaymeyer said...

I can't visit your blog without tears. Your prayer journals have inspired me to start one of my own.

Fle said...

Brady (and Chloe)- Like others, I don't personally know you but you are my brother in Christ! Your posts are so uplifting. You truly have a gift- through your writing the message is crystal clear- we have a sovereign God who is always in control, and we can praise Him no matter what our circumstances may be. His grace is sufficient-- thank you for reminding me!

"For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men." Lamentations 3:31-33

Soli Deo Gloria!

Lastly, I just wanted to share some music that I love and continually reminds me of His truths.

http://www.imeem.com/lifeinreturn/music/6cxNA9Ce/indelible-grace-music-i-asked-the-lord-emily-deloach/

Keep the updates coming, Chloe is so precious! We will continue to pray for your sweet family.

~The Billingsley Family

seriouslybecause.com said...

You're such an inspiration. Thank you for speaking from your heart. I know God has big blessings for you and Chloe.

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

Continuing to pray God's mercy and grace upon you and your precious Chloe. She certainly had an awesome mother and one day will be amazed at her strength when she read's the journals left behind.

Many prayers,
Beth